Day 12: A book you used to love but don't anymore.

Uhhh, to be honest, this one was really difficult. I had a hard time sifting through my memory to find a book that actually fit this description. I tend to like most books I read, but only because I'm super selective. I do extensive reading ON a book before I even buy it.

After like forever of deliberation, I decided on...

The Harry Potter series
by JK Rowling.

This was a surprisingly easy decision to make.

Like most of the kids in my generation, I grew up anticipating the release of each book and movie to the point of extreme excitement and I ate up everything that the Harry Potter-verse could give me. I begged my mum to buy me the trivia games and chocolate frogs and the dolls... Basically everything.

Then why do I not love the series anymore? What caused the huge disconnect?

It was disappointing for me as an adult to come back to the series and to realise that there was so much that could have gone right. From the movies, one of the biggest things that bugged me the most was the switch of Lavender Brown from black to white when she became Ron Weasley's love interest. How is that not severely messed up???

From the books, the source of all Harry Potter lore, I found the portrayal of Severus Snape as a redeemed hero very disturbing. Honestly, this dude was way undeserving of Harry naming a kid after him. Snape is one of the most internally screwed up people the entire series. A bully of little children (that's gross guys please don't try to justify that) and deliberately cruel by nature (look at what he did to Remus Lupin!), he could never have been "one of the bravest people" Harry knew. I mean, there's Hagrid, for god's sake.

We don't only have the case of undeserving characters stealing the limelight but also the case of brilliantly written characters emerging sporadically and rarely, with little dynamic impact on the audience because of how little they're emphasised. There's Hagrid, for one. Mrs Weasley. Shacklebolt. Hermione (don't get me started on how underrated she is). Fleur. Oh god, I could keep going.

I'm not going to deny the richness of the world, but I have to say that it's so incredibly flawed. The lack of racial representation is one other thing. The whole thing about Dumbledore being gay but it being nowhere in the books (god, I hate when this happens - you take credit for "contributing" to the LGBTQA movement without actually contributing to it).

This series, for all its greatness, could have been so much more and I guess I fell out of love with it when I looked at it critically as an adult. It was a great series for me, but I doubt that this is one I'd really recommend to kids.

Books I'd recommend to females with an interest in fantasy or for dudes sick of dudebro themes in fantasy books:

The Hero and the Crown by Robin McKinley
Suitable for all ages
Young girl fights dragons while defying gender norms and being mixed race and mixed class. She also rejects social norms being badass all the while.

The Tiffany Aching series by Terry Pratchett
Suitable for all ages
Coming-of-age novel about strong willed female who is intelligent and insightful as well as an excellent role model. She goes to train as a witch and defeats multiple adversaries with common sense and second and third thoughts.

When Women Were Warriors series by Catherine M. Wilson
Suitable for older teens due to slightly sexual scenes
Warning: not for people who think anything other than heterosexuality is an anomaly and that "lesbian" is a swearword not to be said in front of children.
Ever read an epic fantasy and thought that it would be improved with more representation of women? Or with scrapping the hero and replacing him with a heroine? This is everything you'd want in high fantasy and more then.

Spindle's End by Robin McKinley
Suitable for all ages
Sleeping Beauty as a strapping lass with a booming voice and tomboyish manners who in no way changes? Hell yeah. Plus you wouldn't see that plot twist at the end coming.

Ash by Malinda Lo
Suitable for all ages
Warning: not for people who think anything other than heterosexuality is an anomaly and that "lesbian" is a swearword not to be said in front of children.
This book is amazing. It subverts the themes of your typical fairytale romance completely. Cinderella but with Cinderella rejecting the perfect prince (Idealistic Love) and running off to be with the Huntress (Realistic Love). Also Cinderella kicking ass and solving her own problems.

Huntress by Malinda Lo
Suitable for all ages
Warning: not for people who think anything other than heterosexuality is an anomaly and that "lesbian" is a swearword not to be said in front of children.
The prequel to Ash but capable of being read as a standalone. Fighter-in-training and apprentice sage being sent out to prevent the end of the world and falling in love with an extremely brave but realistic ending.

The Mistborn series by Brandon Sanderson
Suitable for all ages
Best fantasy series I've read the entire year.
Badass girl with a rare talent getting shit done on her own while being followed around by dude utterly smitten by her. Also, a world where ash falls from the sky!

Anything at all by Catherynne M. Valente

Day 11: A book you hated.

Argh, too many!

Anything by Nicholas Sparks, for one.

Since this blog post is likely to not amount to much, I'm just going to briefly run through

WHY YOU SHOULD NOT BUY INTO THE WHOLE 50 SHADES THING

It's abusive. It's as close to actual BDSM as Twilight is to romance. Mr. Gray is a stalker, a rapist, a misogynist, and basically everything that can go wrong with him does. Most of what he does is coercive and requires little in the way of ensuring that Anastasia Steele is sanely and enthusiastically consenting to their activities. God, what a complete trainwreck.

Don't read that disaster. Read something like the Boss series by Abigail Barnette (thorough discussion of what constitutes a proper scene including aftercare, representation, diversity, discussion on privilege, hot erotica, etc.) but just none of this bull crap.

REVIEW Animal Crossing: New Leaf

So halfway through Episode 1 of Brooklyn Nine Nine Season 2 I realised that I have a blog I've forgotten to update again.

What have I been doing besides watching Brooklyn Nine Nine and playing Assassin's Creed?

I've been so hooked on Animal Crossing: New Leaf.

If you don't know what that is, it's a simple and relaxing game for the Nintendo 2DS/3DS consoles. It's the latest from the Animal Crossing series and it's addictive as heck.

You start off as the Mayor of a town of your making with a few villagers (generated out of a huge pool of NPCs) welcoming you and showing you the basics. Basically all you do is make life as awesome as you can for you and your villagers. That's it.

The game is deceptively charming and whimsical. The graphics look immensely appealing on my 3DS screen and the music and sounds suit the relaxing vibe that resounds throughout the entire game. Don't get me started on the sounds of the waterfall and ocean waves. I deliberately placed my home in a strategic area beside both the waterfall and the sea so that I can enjoy the sounds even when I'm in my house.

The characters are few but this is a big plus. Each character has its own personality and they each have cute little individual quirks that add to the experience. One of my favourite villagers is a huge rooster named Goose who was generated with the jock personality type. He refers to my character as his "ladybro" and gives me random workout advice.

Everything about this game is completely adorable. The simplicity of the storyline ensures that you never get stuck but there's enough going around as well as random events and routine town festivals that are enough to keep you playing.

The thing about this game is that you can go a handful of days or even a week or a month without playing it and then you pick it up again and you get hooked. It's like one of those Facebook games (at least when they first started out) but with more charm and tranquility (and the added benefit of clogging up nobody's notifications).

I highly recommend this game to anyone looking for something to play on their daily commute (honestly this game is perfect for commuters!) or anyone who wants a game they can mindlessly play for a little bit of time a day to keep themselves occupied.

It's perfect for kids and even adults (you have housing loans to pay off!). I suggest you download it rather than buy the cartridge because it's one of those games you'll want to keep on you constantly.

HUUUUGE thanks to Bear for getting it for me!

Day 10: Favourite classic book.

I've got to start with saying that I've discovered a new "TOP BOOK OF THE YEAR" and I'm not going to surprise anyone by saying that it's by Catherynne M. Valente. Into The Night Garden is a gorgeously imaginative read and I adore every word of it.

Alright, now that that's over with...

What the heck is a "classic" book by any standards?

Does it have to be something written ages ago by a dead white man?

Nawh, not going to do that.

Pride and Prejudice
by Jane Austen

I had another one of those brainwrecking moments where I honestly couldn't think of something different. This book is... Well. It's pretty damn classic. And yeah, it's a romance, but whatevs.

It's one of those books that need no introduction. Most everyone has heard of this book and even a person who hasn't read it has presumably either watched the movie or at least vaguely knows about the plot.

I think this is the book that popularised the whole HATE AT FIRST SIGHT AND THEN FALLING IN LOVE WITH MUCH MORTIFICATION trope. It's been pretty influential in pop culture and come on, Mr Darcy has set hearts afluttering for centuries!

Note to future partner: I'm totally demanding a Pride and Prejudice style wedding or engagement, mmyeah?

“It is happy for you that you possess the talent of flattering with delicacy. May I ask whether these pleasing attentions proceed from the impulse of the moment, or are they the result of previous study?” 

Day 9: A book you thought you wouldn't like but ended up loving.

Diana Wynne Jones. She shaped my love and thirst for adventure more than any other author has. I spent many happy days holed up reading about magic and mystery, time travel and so many other themes that grew on me. I progressed from series to series and ended up reading pretty much all of her books. Howl's Moving Castle and Sophie Hatter are my dear favourites, but of course, I started with the Chrestomanci series.

It's only fitting that her books find a place somewhere in this series of posts.

The first book I ever read by her:

Charmed Life (Chrestomanci series)
by Diana Wynne Jones

We have Eric "Cat" Chant. Timid and shy and forever living in the shadow of his manipulative and much talented older sister, Gwendolen. We have the enigmatic and handsome Chrestomanci (is that a name or title?). We have a whole host of animated background characterse, interesting in their individuality.

I didn't think I'd like the book, especially since at 7 I deemed the cover uninteresting and certainly uninspiring. I forced myself past the first page and then I got lost.

For the next several years, I bought books just because they had her name on it and I never regretted the decision. I remember coming home from college to the news of her death, utterly shocked. I don't know why, I just feel like I assumed she'd live forever.

Diana Wynne Jones will live on forever in my reading habits and imagination. Her books introduced me to magic and fantasy and that kind of thing can never be forgotten.

(Chrestomanci's sass, though)

“Chrestomanci smiled and swept out of the room like a very long procession of one person.”

 “Then watch out. I warn you!"  

"That is very considerate of you," said Chrestomanci. "I like to be warned.”

Day 8: Most overrated book.

I wanted to pick something different, I really did.

Fifty Shades Trilogy 
by E. L. James

Firstly, this is based off Twilight fanfiction. If that doesn't already sound like a trainwreck, I don't know what else does. The fanfiction aspect isn't a big deal at all (cue rant about how certain communities and activities are seen as devalued when females are involved - like TV series/band/etc fandom, when the sports industry is really one big overblown fandom) and the main issue here is that Twilight checks off most flags for abusive relationships.

Secondly, this book is a terrible representation of BDSM relationships and BDSM as a subculture. Go read The Boss Trilogy by Abigail Barnett (as Mara Wilson recommended). I checked it out and I find that it was a ridiculously good read. Pretty feminist, coloured characters not in the background, LGBTQA representation, accurate information... Pretty much the total opposite of Fifty Shades.

Thirdly, Christian Grey is a horrible person. His method of controlling his "submissive" is... well. It's disgusting. Plus the stalking. Plus. Ew. Everything.

I can't see why anybody could find this romantic and if they do, I highly suggest that they look at it critically.

I wanted to end this post with a quote from Fifty Shades the way I've ended my previous posts but all of the lines are so terrible I'm going to have to end it with this link.

Day 7: Most underrated book.

I can't decide I can't decide I can't decide don't make me pick anything Terry Pratchett or Catherynne M. Valente please please please

Alright, I'm gonna pick a book series that will appeal to anyone who likes a little bit of romance, a dash of adventure AND A FULL SERVING OF HEARTBREAK.

Daughter of Smoke and Bone Trilogy
by Laini Taylor

I almost picked the Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern but it's been getting a lot of publicity recently so I've decided that nahhh, these books are more deserving of the "underrated" status.

This book revolves around Karou, a young girl who... well, isn't. She's a strong character and she's got a pretty good cast of characters around her, the most notable of which is her best friend (“Hey! My body may be small, but my soul is large. It’s why I wear platforms. So I can reach the top of my soul.” and of course “Zuzana arched an eyebrow. She was a master of the eyebrow arch, and Karou envied her for it. Her own eyebrows did not function independently of each other, which handicapped her expressions of suspicion and disdain.”), whose boyfriend is a pretty epic character as well.

“Once upon a time, an angel and a devil fell in love. 

It did not end well.”

An angel appears in her life and for some reason (which isn't ~destiny~ or FATEE!!!!), he is drawn to her. Something about her reminds him of someone he once loved and lost. And so he seeks her out, compelled to be around her.

The angels and demons in these books, similar to Nalini Singh's Guild Hunter series, are so named for the want of a label. They are human in morality in that they are not inherently angelic or demonic. Each has their own ulterior motives and alliances. It's not quite so simple as it all seems in the start.

I first read the book thinking "wow, a lighthearted read, this could be what I need". I was so mistaken. This book is pretty heavy, but quite prettily written.

“It is a condition of monsters that they do not perceive themselves as such. The dragon, you know, hunkered in the village devouring maidens, heard the townsfolk cry 'Monster!' and looked behind him.” 

It's a pretty good read, not the best, but I think it deserves more than it gets. It's definitely a better read than quite a lot of the teen romances out there (is this a teen romance? I'm not sure) and a stronger story than the flimsy excuse you get with most romances.

Day 6: A book that makes you sad.

This one, I've mentioned countless times and I'm really sorry, but I have to mention this book again.

Heart-Shaped Bruise
by Tanya Byrne

This is a book about what was and what could have been. It's a book full of pain, faked bravado, revenge. It is a book about why people do what they do, no matter how incomprehensible their actions are.

This is a book about the story's antagonist, which is an interesting concept in itself.

You shouldn't love her, but you do. The beauty of this book is that it reverses the concept of what is acceptable and what is not and you root for Emily even when you know how dysfunctional she is and that you should despise her.

I read somewhere that an interesting villain thinks that they're the hero of the story. That's precisely what Emily is. She justifies herself every step of the way and you know that she could be better than this. You just know. And so you rage at her for every chance she does not take to turn back and become the person she could have been.

And since this book starts right at the end, you know very well that she's not going to turn back. She's not going to be the person you can clearly see she has the potential to become.

God, this was a gorgeous but painful read.

“It was like this blackness that crept into the corners of my life until everything was grey and dirty. My insides felt burnt out, like if you cut me open, all you would find would be smoke. No heart. No bones. There was nothing left, just the anger. It followed me everywhere. It sat on my bed and watched me sleep and when I had to eat, it looked at me across the table.”

 “I don’t know if that’s ever happened to you, if you’ve loved someone, loved who they are, then found out they’re not that person after all. It doesn’t just break your heart, does it? It breaks you. Then you’re not who you thought you were, either.” 

Day 5: A book that makes you happy.

I'm having a hard time deciding this one because all books make me happy.

I'm trying so hard to not pick something written by either Terry Pratchett or Catherynne M. Valente. I'm really trying to force myself to pick outside of my comfort zone (that's not working).

Do I pick Catch-22? Good Omens (nope, Terry Pratchett AND Neil Gaiman)? The Princess Bride?

In the end I went and picked two book series that I very much enjoy.

(Ya, okay, I cheated.)

The Bridgerton Series by Julia Quinn
The Pennyroyal Green Series by Julie Anne Long

The two series have several similarities:

• historical romances set around the Regency era
• revolve around families
• contain references to books in the series

And also many differences:

• the Bridgerton series is more lighthearted and whimsical
• the Pennyroyal Green series is a lot more solemn but it has tonnes of hilarious moments

They're both pretty good and it all depends on whether you want something sillier or something a little more... "realistic"?

His mouth captured hers, trying to show her with his kiss what he was still learning to express in words. He loved her.He worshipped her. He'd walk across fire for her. He—
—still had the audience of her three brothers.
Slowly breaking the kiss, he turned his face to the side. Anthony, Benedict, and Colin were still standing in the foyer.Anthony was studying the ceiling, Benedict was pretending to inspect his fingernails, and Colin was staring quite shamelessly.― Julia Quinn, The Duke and I

Kinkade sketched the occasional nude woman, and was generous about passing the sketches around to the men and cheerful about accepting criticisms and suggestions, which he seldom incorporated, as he had his own vision. He signed them O.McCaucus-Bigg
A new soldier was always puzzled by this, given that this wasn't Kinkade's name."O.McCaucus-Bigg?""Braggart, are you?" Kinkade would roar. "Not as big as mine,laddie!"A good joke, suitable for thirteen-year-old boys and bored sergeants and subalterns.― Julie Anne Long, Since the Surrender

Day 4: Favourite book of your favourite series.

Oh nooo. This one was tough.

The Discworld series is so full of strong women characters - Susan, Tiffany Aching, Angua, Granny, Magrat...

But if I had to pick a book, just one book, I'd have to pick this.

Monstrous Regiment (Discworld series)
by Terry Pratchett

This book is so good as a girl power book.

Think Mulan.

Like all of Pratchett's books, Monstrous Regiment is witty and funny and angry and sad. It makes you think and weep and laugh.

The women of this book are remarkably well written, something I can say of all of Pratchett's female characters. They're fleshed out incredibly well and you cannot ever mistake one for another (a problem I have with a lot of fantasy novels).

Oh god, why did I think that I could write about this book. I get so many feels when I even think about it.

“What does a man stand up to do, a woman sit down to do, and a dog lift its leg to do?” And then, when everyone was too embarrassed to answer, she’d triumphantly shriek “Shake hands!” 

Day 3: Your favourite series.

(still in Singapore)

Nooo, I cannot think of any other series to beat the one I've ranked as my favourite since I was 12.

The Discworld series
by Terry Pratchett

Yeah, okay, I'm so obsessed with Terry Pratchett.

“Ankh-Morpork! Pearl of cities! This is not a completely accurate description, of course — it was not round and shiny — but even its worst enemies would agree that if you had to liken Ankh-Morpork to anything, then it might as well be a piece of rubbish covered with the diseased secretions of a dying mollusc.”

I first read the Death Trilogy (Mort, Reaper Man, Soul Music) when I was 12 when my mum brought it home.

I was hooked from the first.

This series is made up of quite a number of subseries, all covered in this guide.

I cannot stop recommending this series to everyone. You don't necessarily have to read the other books, which is the beauty of this series. It's a pretty pick-and-choose deal. Each book has a theme of its own and you can definitely pick a book by the theme you wish to read on.

Day 2: A book that you've read more than 3 times.

VROOMMMM

I'm actually in Singapore for the F1 races and concerts so I've queued this up.

Anyway, I'm going to pick...

The Witching Hour
by Anne Rice

Secretly one of my top favourite books.

This book is full of evocative imagery. It's seductive, compelling and intrusive.

It's also a hugeass book of potentially triggery things so I'm not going to start recommending this to anyone.

The Witching Hour is one of those books with what I personally call an unstable timeline. You start with the present and veer off to multiple points in the book. It could be extremely overwhelming and quite confusing for anyone who don't enjoy being a little off balance.

This book has many faults.

Nevertheless, I love it.

“I believe in Free Will, the Force Almighty by which we conduct ourselves as if we were the sons and daughters of a just and wise God, even if there is no such Supreme Being. And by free will, we can choose to do good on this earth, no matter that we all die, and do not know where we go when we die, or if a justice or explanation awaits us. 

I believe that we can, through our reason, know what good is, and in the communion of men and women, in which the forgiveness of wrongs will always be more significant than the avenging of them, and that in the beautiful natural world that surrounds us, we represent the best and the finest of beings, for we alone can see that natural beauty, appreciate it, learn from it, weep for it, and seek to conserve it and protect it. 

I believe finally that we are the only true moral force in the physical world, the makers of, ethics and moral ideas, and that we must be as good as the gods we created in the past to guide us. I believe that through our finest efforts, we will succeed finally in creating heaven on earth, and we do it every time that we love, every time that we embrace, every time that we commit to create rather than destroy, every time that we place life over death, and the natural over what is unnatural, insofar as we are able to define it. 

And I suppose I do believe in the final analysis that a peace of mind can be obtained in the face of the worst horrors and the worst losses. It can be obtained by faith in change and in will and in accident and by faith in ourselves, that we will do the right thing, more often than not, in the face of adversity.For ours is the power and the glory, because we are capable of visions and ideas which are ultimately stronger and more enduring than we are. 

That is my credo. That is my belief, for what it's worth, and it sustains me. And if I were to die right now, I wouldn't be afraid. Because I can't believe that horror or chaos awaits us. 

If any revelation awaits us at all, it must be as good as our ideals and our philosophy. For surely nature must embrace the visible and the invisible, and it couldn't fall short of us. The thing that makes the flowers open and the snowflakes fall must contain a wisdom and a final secret as intricate and beautiful as the blooming camellia or the clouds gathering above, so white and so pure in the blackness. 

If that isn't so, then we are in the grip of a staggering irony. And all the spooks of hell might as well dance. There could be a devil. People who burn other people to death are fine. There could be anything. But the world is simply to beautiful for that.At least it seems that way to me.”

Day 1: The best book you've read this year.

I know I've mentioned Deathless already and it's genuinely a fabulous book and definitely the best I've read this year. I fangirled about it over here.

I definitely can't pick it again, so I'm going to pick a close second.

Caesar's Wives: Sex, Power, and Politics in the Roman Empire
by Annelise Freisenbruch

This book was such an enlightening read. I was so sick of reading about men in history and that's the main reason I picked it.

MINDBLOWING OKAY.

Besides the book The Six Wives of Henry VIII by Alison Weir, I've never read about women in history written this way. You really see how cunning and manipulative and intelligent these women can be. You see how they were so limited by their times. You see how so much and yet nothing has changed.

If you want to read a book about how pivotal women are in ancient history, this is it. I loved this book and if you enjoy reading history, I think this would be a great book for you.

30 Day Reading Challenge

Thanks to my weird ability to read at speeds of 2000 words per minute, I've been able to read two or three books a day in my free time. I keep hundreds of books on my phone just in case I get bored commuting or eating alone.

“I always read. You know how sharks have to keep swimming or they die? I’m like that. If I stop reading, I die.” - Patrick Rothfuss

 Because of that I've kind of amassed a huge list of read books, I've decided to actually start and finish the 30 Day Reading Challenge.

30 DAYS GUYS LEGGO

If you're joining in, let me know so I can check your list out!

Religion and hypocrisy.

I was brought up Catholic and ever since I could think for myself, I've wondered about the hypocrisy that causes Catholics specifically to preach compassion but never practise it.

When I was younger, a child, I questioned my grandmother about divorce in the Catholic Church. For some reason, which I have not been able to comprehend even now, divorce is one of the things you just shouldn't follow through with when you're Catholic (read: Henry VIII and that whole pesky business with the Anglican Church).

"Well," she told me. "Marriage is sacred and you shouldn't marry more than once."
"What if you marry someone abusive?" I asked.
"Then you shouldn't have gotten to know them before you married them," she explained patiently.

Wait, what.

• I SMELL VICTIM BLAMING

I can't believe that there are entire generations of people who grew up without questioning this mentality.

And this is the problem I have with man made laws decreed to be god approved.

Hooping.

I'm not the best at thinking up snazzy titles in the middle of the night.

Oh well.

Anyway, I've been doing aerial hoops for the past month and I've got this to show for it:

Okay, yeah, I should have been straightening that leg. Sorry.

I've always been flexible and strong so aerial hoops has been more of an exploration than extension of those aspects of myself.

(I also tend to take my flexibility for granted. For example, I'm very much aware that I can do the splits no problem even when I haven't warmed up. I can actually sit in them comfortably. After much reminding from the Bear, I finally measured my oversplits: I can go into an oversplit of more than 7 inches above the floor from a side split cold. Jeez, I wish I'd known that earlier!)

Anyway, I find this a pretty cool way of stress busting besides walking my baby goldie for what must be around an hour each day (not kidding, golden retrievers are very high energy breeds). I'll definitely update with more in another month or so.

“You will always fall in love, and it will always be like having your throat cut, just that fast.”

I fell in love again.

I'm going to have to say that Catherynne M. Valente completely deserves the 'buy on name alone' status I've placed on her books.

“That's how you get deathless, volchitsa. Walk the same tale over and over, until you wear a groove in the world, until even if you vanished, the tale would keep turning, keep playing, like a phonograph, and you'd have to get up again, even with a bullet through your eye, to play your part and say your lines.

I finished Deathless in one sitting the other day and I was stunned by the beauty and complexity of the story she weaved around Marya Morevna, one of the most amazing heroines I've read about in so long (she writes great women, by the way).

Deathless is set in 20th century Russia and it is history and mythology and folklore mixed together almost seamlessly. The way she writes the foreign setting makes it far away enough to make you realise that it's a whole new culture to what we've been exposed to without making it seem weirdly "exotic" and fetishised (a really big problem for me right now with any writer exploring a different culture).

The book moves in a spiral rather than in a linear way and that adds to the story. After all it's only fitting as these characters are caught in bouts of repetition in real life with every tale spun out of them to add to folklore. This is referred to several times in the book and in different ways.

“You will always go into that tent. You will see her scar and wonder where she got it. You will always be amazed at how one woman can have so much black hair. You will always fall in love, and it will always be like having your throat cut, just that fast. You will always run away with her. You will always lose her. You will always be a fool. You will always be dead, in a city of ice, snow falling into your ear. You have already done all of this and will do it again.”

An interesting aspect of the book is that it explores themes of domination and submission as well as sadomasochism.

“Oh, I will be cruel to you, Marya Morevna. It will stop your breath, how cruel I can be. But you understand, don’t you? You are clever enough. I am a demanding creature. I am selfish and cruel and extremely unreasonable. But I am your servant. When you starve I will feed you; when you are sick I will tend you. I crawl at your feet; for before your love, your kisses, I am debased. For you alone I will be weak.”

 Also polyamory, which went very well. I've barely seen any representation of polyamorous relationships in mainstream books so this pleased me loads.

“I know you loved both he and I, the way a mother can love two sons. And no one should be judged for loving more than they ought, only for loving not enough.”

 I can't say much beyond: Read it. It's a good book, better than average by far, an excellent read and it isn't too long at around 300 pages.

If you want a coherent review that is intelligently written, here you go.

What I really think of Brooklyn Nine Nine.

#brooklyn99

Starring Andy Samberg of the Lonely Island (yeaaah, the dudes behind those songs - "I Just Had Sex", notably) who's also the producer, Terry Crews (who doesn't know this guy?) and Andre Braugher of the lovely velvet voice.

I started watching this a few days ago after months of trying to get myself to make the effort to watch it. I knew it would be good, I'm just seriously unmotivated when it comes to shows. I find that TV series are like long term commitments and I'm just not very good at that just yet.

Brooklyn Nine Nine is a workplace comedy that revolves around a team of detectives (and one civilian administrator). Excellent representation, with three female characters to four male characters. Two white males, two latina females and two black males. Both black males are the superior officers. Yeah, the white dude's the main character but I can live with that considering he's totally flawed and not perfect and he gets waaay annoying.

Cons.

1. The fat jokes in Episode 4. That got really annoying. I expected better.
2. (POSSIBLY KIND OF SPOILER-Y DO NOT CONTINUE IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED AT LEAST HALF OF SEASON ONE) I have a feeling that Rosa may be set up for a romantic pairing with Charles and that's so messed up on so many levels because firstly, she's expressed countless times throughout the series that she's not interested in him romantically though she does like him as a person. Secondly, he kept getting creepy about it. Sure, he did apologise later on, but still. Thirdly, the whole "I liked her and pursued her forever and then she liked me back (hiatus optional)" trope is so problematic. If a woman tells you to cut it out, do everyone a favour and cut it way out. It's not romantic to be that uncomfortably creepy plus it's kinda not basic human decency. That thing is overused too.

Pros.

1. No mention of the friendzone. Charles being creepy aside, they're respectful of each other and they appreciate being friends.
2. The jokes are genuinely funny without actually being problematic, mostly.
3. Captain Holt and feminism. No, seriously. Issues such as racism, sexism and homophobia are brought up and dealt with in a really fab way. I love it.
4. Sex positive and no slut shame-y jokes. Yaaayers.
5. The characters are so well-written. Amy should be annoying but she's so endearing. Gina should overbearing but she comes off as sincere and snarky in a really good way. Rosa is... amazing. Each of the characters is reason enough to watch the show.
6. Wesley thinks it's a high point that there are no laugh tracks in the background.

In conclusion, this is a pretty good show to watch to unwind. This is a show I can watch without being on edge over the jokes. I'm shamelessly adding gifs of Rosa because I aspire to be her.

Guilty as charged.

I have two primary reasons to write this post.

The first is that I SUCK at remembering to wash my face with actual facial cleansers. Guess we can lump that one as a fail!

The second is that I just watched 22 episodes of Brooklyn Nine Nine in less than 24 hours. Yeah, that's the first season. Yes, this is totally blog-worthy news. I don't watch TV series. I have never been able to watch anything without forcing myself to do it.

Brooklyn Nine Nine is pretty awesome. I like it. It's the simple concept of a workplace-related comedy that just so happens to be set with cops. The jokes are pretty spot on (except with some fat-shaming jokes) and the representation isn't too bad either. There are a lot of hard-hitting truths about being gay and black, for example. I relish those moments.

Also, I kinda wanna be Detective Rosa Diaz when I grow up.

SO QUOTEWORTHY

"I'm gonna punch him so hard in the mouth he bites his own heart."
("I'm sorry, what do you look for in a guy?") "I don't know. Real stuff.... shape of his ass."
"You think I'm opinionated? Okay, here's an opinion for you. You're a bad judge of character and your shirt looks like vomit."
("Rosa's even wearing her formal leather jacket!") "Yeah, it's the one without any blood on it."

I am a butt.

I am an increasingly sloppy butt at having any kind of skincare routine put into place and it's absolutely disgusting me. Bleargh.

At the moment, I wash my face with the same soap I use for my body and I literally don't shampoo my hair (it feels amazing and looks amazing and photographs so well but ughhh, I totally get that it's not something I should say out loud).

Thing is, I'll be turning 22 soon. I'm approaching my mid-twenties (yeah, okay, it's a few years away, but still!) and what if I end up regretting my complete buttness at looking after my skin?!

(I've been told I have an unfairly gorgeous complexion considering aforementioned buttness - yeah, even during my period - and so this should be maintained, yes?)

Someone got me a couple of Soap & Glory products just yesterday:

• the Fab Pore (a moisturiser of some sort)
• Scrubatomic (a daily face polish - though I wonder why you would name something face polish??? SOMETHING YOU PUT ON YOUR FACE???)
• Scrub Your Nose In It (an exfoliator)

 It's not the first time I've tried doing something to my skin. I'm guilty of having countless facial cleansers lying around much that I bought and then promptly lost interest in to the glee of my mother and sisters. I'm really hoping I stick to this, though.

I'm not a big fan of putting much on my face. I have more than decent skin and I'm a little bit afraid that I'd cause breakouts by overusing products when I believe in minimalism and especially when so little works.

Even worse, I'm just plain clueless about things like this. I just Googled "what is a toner". I mean, I know what it is, I just want to know what it does and whether it's even worth purchasing at all (oh god, I know, I'm terrible).

The good thing is that I don't use much makeup, if any at all (if I do use any it's limited to eyeliner and mascara and something lippy - I don't think I could ever find it in me to bother about using eyeshadow, ever). That reduces my need for skincare very much, I think.

Anyway, we'll see how this goes.

No Poo update! - 6 weeks later

So...

6 weeks after completely giving up shampoo, I have this to report:

• the ends of my hair are no longer dry
• my usually thin hair is fabulously fluffy
• SO. MUCH. VOLUME.

Check that ouuuut. Also: my hair has streaks in it now.

I think I can blissfully conclude that I've given up on shampoo like. FOREVER.

Interesting but slightly unrelated (only slightly) story: my friend Gerard spent over RM 300 on Kiehl's facial products. He says he has less breakouts but he's not completely satisfied. I'm more than satisfied with my own skincare regime and I know I've said this before but it's...

No facial cleanser, toner or moisturiser. It's been like that for years.

My skin is also like this sans makeup (lip gloss never counts as makeup):

I swear I haven't edited anything.

I've basically gone completely caveman on everyone.

“The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.” - Gloria Steinem

Trigger warnings for multiple things but mainly rape.
I don't think of anger as a negative emotion. I think of it as being neutral. It's really how you express it that can make it destructive.

Though obviously there are situations where you have to keep calm (sparring, an emergency, etc.).

I'm really talking about anger against oppressive systems. Why am I not allowed to be angry about things like transphobia, homophobia, racism, sexism and ableism? Why can't I be angry about eurocentric beauty standards? Or cultural appropriation?

I despise being told by my friends with smaller eyes that I'm lucky that I have such lovely big eyes. Or by my darker skinned friends that they wish that they had fair skin too. Or by anyone that I have a nice figure because I'm "thin" (never mind if I don't identify as thin or if I am not seen as thin, I am aware that I am thin enough to not be bullied for my weight). Or that I'm "not like other girls" (thus implying that there's something inherently wrong with the state of femininity).

No.

I want to stick my middle finger up at Xixili, a local brand, for featuring nothing but white models when Malaysia is at least 93% Asian. I want to puke everytime I see someone who fluently speaks Chinese or Tamil or Malay (or anything other than English really) being ridiculed for not speaking English well or for being "too ethnic". I want to grab and shake men who say "she's just asking for it in a skirt that short". I want to rip new buttholes for anyone who's ever bullied a girl for the way she looks or how much she weighs. There are many bad things I want to do to people who seem to live just to propagate oppressive systems that have been engrained in us by our culture but never seem to actually sit and think about how hurtful they are being.

It's not that I am constantly full of anger at social injustice. There are too many days where I wish to go about my day without once turning around and having to correct someone (no matter how gentle I try to be about it, nobody takes me seriously). But then again, I can't seem to go for long without someone either harassing me, or making a stupid remark around me.

Stupid responses I get on a daily (and sadly, near hourly) basis:

1. Why don't you chill?
   Why don't you not make jokes at the expense of other people who have valid feelings?
2. Not all men are like that.
   Feminists don't think all men are rapists. But all male rapists do.
3. Men get raped too.
   Firstly, good job on using the suffering of male rape victims as a derailment to a genuine concern. Secondly, the raping of men is indeed a real problem thankyouverymuch for bringing it up (though I suspect you're of the "men can't be raped because they should be happy they're getting some" variety). Thirdly, adding the word "too" lowers both problems to mere comparisons.
4. Fat people should exercise at least for their health.
   Fat people can do whatever the hell they want and it's none of your business or mine.
5. Usage of slurs: f*ggot, tr*nny, n*gga.
   You have no right to reclaim those slurs unless you are homosexual, transexual or black (yeah, the link specifies white people but it makes clear that you should NOT do it unless you are black). Note: there are other slurs. I just can't think of them right now as it's bloody 2 AM.
6. She's too young to be wearing that.
   She's also too young to have you sexualising her, yes?

Another thing I get seriously mad about is the whole "I'm a special snowflake because I'm totally not like other girls". What's wrong with other girls? So they like to wear makeup. I think they're pretty and they feel good about themselves. So what? Or maybe they don't like to wear makeup and they don't shave or whatever. Again, so what? How exactly does this affect you?

I had a really rough time growing up as a female teen because I was always told "don't be like other girls". I was brought up to be rough and tough by my dad (for good reasons) but (and I'm still quite embarrassed about this) I saw myself as superior to other girls for a good part of my life just because I wasn't like the "majority" of them (fortunately, I grew up). Until two years ago, I avoided dresses like the plague because I had been told by everyone from the way they spoke of femininity that it was something bad.

Now I totally call out that shit.

I admit that I am privileged. I am of Eurasian descent. I have a typically white surname. I am fair skinned, thin and I speak English fluently as it is my mother tongue. I am cisgender.

I am privileged and it is my duty to dismantle the privilege society gives to me at the expense of others.

Natural Vitality Natural Calm

I've been having problems with anxiety and insomnia for years. While doing research recently, I found that it could be caused to a slight magnesium deficiency. Apparently the best way to deal with it was to take a supplement. I was recommended Natural Vitality Natural Calm.

And it worked for me.

I went for overkill and bought two huge bottles immediately.

The day it came in, I was terribly excited to try it out. My partner in crime, Jeen, and I took half a teaspoon in a glass of water each the night itself and two hours later, excitedly started messaging each other about how exhausted and relaxed we were suddenly feeling.

So... yeah, it works. Really well.

My mother just took half a teaspoon as well and she's walking around with the most dopey look on her face ever. She says she feels groggy and that if she were to lay down she'd pass out immediately.

I'll blog about this again after a month or so and report on my anxiety levels. It's only day three but it's going very well so far!

You can get it over here for USD 25.

So I tried to put makeup on.

You guys know about how I don't use makeup?

So I put on a dash of eyeliner and mascara yesterday for the first time since my emo-goth-punk teengirl phase.

I look massively confused as to how I ended up looking this way.

Well.

Not too bad for the first try in forever.

I used a spoon, though. No, seriously. Everything is better with a spoon.

There's nothing wrong with using makeup. For me, it's really a once in a while thing. I'm not into makeup and for some reason I am deeply disturbed by anything past eyeliner and mascara and maybe some lipstick on my face. I can't put blusher on because my cheeks are naturally red to the point where people think I overapplied blusher, anyway.

But if you're happy with it and you think it makes you feel good, then go enough and put on what you like. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. And if anyone tells you to go "natural" when you don't want to, pee on everything he loves.

My facial cleansing routine.

Basically, nothing.

I'm not kidding. It's been this way for years. I have the occasional stray pimple during my period (that can't seem to be dodged) but beyond that, nothing much.

I simply wash my face with water as I deem fit and maybe once or twice a week I give my face a rub a dub dub with some soap (right now, I'm totally in love with Claire Organics' Guinness soap) when I think I need it - mostly when the oil build up feels bad, but trust me, you'll know when you need to wash it off.

Interestingly, I did find claims over the Internet that some people found a lot of their acne problems went away after they stopped using commercial facial cleansers the same way people find that their hair condition improves without shampoo. Beyond that, Riley said the same of his usually acne prone skin to me just last week.

This is my complexion sans make up and facial cleansers and my hair almost three weeks into "no poo".

Much like the whole no poo thing, I'm pretty sure there'll be a transition period if you ditch your facial cleansers but perhaps that could be something that may work for your skin? I've heard of all sorts of variants, from simply cutting down on the facial routine to drastically trashing everything.

I don't know, though. I'm just this random person on the internet. :D

I've officially gone "no poo".

It's been two weeks since my last use of shampoo. Seriously.

Surprisingly, my hair:

1. does not stink
2. has practically zero dandruff (I used to shampoo my hair like daily to avoid dandruff and now I don't shampoo at all and I'm no longer plagued by it - LIFE)
3. looks pretty healthy despite the greasy feeling and nobody can actually tell how greasy it is if I rinse it under warm water now and then

What I've been doing is every week I pour a little bit of baking soda into some water (about half a tablespoon or less to a large cup - don't overdo this as baking soda is way alkaline) and then I rub that into my scalp. I let it sit in for around a minute and I rinse it off. Then I mix some apple cider vinegar with water (a tablespoon to a cup as well) and pour it all over my hair, mostly focussing on the ends and I let that sit for another minute. I make sure I rinse everything off very well so I don't smell like an English fish and chip stall though Jeen Yap assures me the smell goes off as the hair dries.

And here is a picture if you don't mind my unmade up face!

Five days since my last "wash" and two weeks since my last shampoo. Yaaay.

My hair has always been perfectly healthy and normal so I'm just sticking it through the transition period. I think I'm lucky because oil production on my scalp has been slowing down from what I've noticed this week in comparison to last week. Jeen's hair has displayed remarkable difference, though. It used to be pretty dry and damaged and it seems almost normal now! Her transition is kinda minimal too. Pfft. That girl. So lucky.

It's only been two weeks so far, which is halfway till my hair suddenly becomes awesome and commercial worthy so. Okay. I'll let you guys know how bitchtastic my hair flipping gets in two more weeks.

Oh god. I was kidding.

Anyway, some suggest a honey shampoo for those that think that the baking soda + apple cider vinegar thing may be a bit strong. That's supposed to help with dry hair and dandruff so give it a go. If you're intending to stick with the baking soda and wish to avoid extra strong dandruff, I hear putting in a bit of tea tree oil in the baking soda mixture helps. 

(Ask me sometime about how I don't wash my face with facial cleanser and how I believe that my complexion is pretty fab because of that, though)

Alice In Chains

I haven't written for the sake of writing in a very long time.

There isn't much to write about besides my sleepless nights, my dream-addled days and smoke infused clothing. Except perhaps for Alice In Chains.

(Note: I've gone off Jared Leto after hearing rumours about him being a rapist. I know you'd probably say something like "but they're just rumours" but seriously, some girls potentially being raped and abused by him is more important to me than his cishet white boy innocence)

I know I've said this repeatedly but I love Alice In Chains so much I actually bought their Essential album. I'm a bleeding cheapskate over most things so this does actually count for a lot (in my book, at least!).

Sern and I made a trip out of it to Singapore earlier this month and we caught Black Veil Brides, Five Finger Death Punch, Rob Zombie and Slipknot on the first day of Rock Fest and Alter Bridge and Alice In Chains on day two.

William DuVall was much better than I'd originally expected live though I'd heard that loads of people are generally pretty happy with his voice. In my opinion, DuVall is the closest you can get to Layne Staley without actually being Layne Staley. I still have conflicted feelings about Cantrell being so prominent vocally on The Devil Put Dinosaurs Here (incidentally, Amazon stores this album under pop HAHAHA) because yeah, you could say that his voice is the kind of sexy snarl so suited to sludge metal but I think it gets a bit nasal after a few listenings.

Anyway, I'm really just happy they came rocking out to Them Bones, which is genuinely my all time favourite song by them. They even played Your Decision, my next favourite, as well as Dam That River and they ended the entire set with Rooster. I cried a little bit on the inside to Nutshell too. Wes and Sern are probably still upset that they didn't perform Man In The Box. Nowadays, when I need to rile Sern up I just have to start going "FE-E-E-E-ED MY EEEEEYES"and he starts yelling at me. Heh.

Incidentally, an interesting point: William DuVall looks remarkably young for someone approaching his fifties. And he's totes adorbs.

And another thing: Layne Staley is dead. There's really no point comparing Alice In Chains now and Alice In Chains then because the band has moved on regardless of whether the fans have accepted it or not. Cantrell's the real soul of the band and that's what matters. DuVall is a brilliantly talented singer as well. Wes, after hearing Stone, stated that he actually likes their new stuff better. So be it.

The only thing I'd judge you on is if you prefer Man In The Box to Rooster.

Okay, inside joke.