“The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.” - Gloria Steinem

Trigger warnings for multiple things but mainly rape.
I don't think of anger as a negative emotion. I think of it as being neutral. It's really how you express it that can make it destructive.

Though obviously there are situations where you have to keep calm (sparring, an emergency, etc.).

I'm really talking about anger against oppressive systems. Why am I not allowed to be angry about things like transphobia, homophobia, racism, sexism and ableism? Why can't I be angry about eurocentric beauty standards? Or cultural appropriation?

I despise being told by my friends with smaller eyes that I'm lucky that I have such lovely big eyes. Or by my darker skinned friends that they wish that they had fair skin too. Or by anyone that I have a nice figure because I'm "thin" (never mind if I don't identify as thin or if I am not seen as thin, I am aware that I am thin enough to not be bullied for my weight). Or that I'm "not like other girls" (thus implying that there's something inherently wrong with the state of femininity).

No.

I want to stick my middle finger up at Xixili, a local brand, for featuring nothing but white models when Malaysia is at least 93% Asian. I want to puke everytime I see someone who fluently speaks Chinese or Tamil or Malay (or anything other than English really) being ridiculed for not speaking English well or for being "too ethnic". I want to grab and shake men who say "she's just asking for it in a skirt that short". I want to rip new buttholes for anyone who's ever bullied a girl for the way she looks or how much she weighs. There are many bad things I want to do to people who seem to live just to propagate oppressive systems that have been engrained in us by our culture but never seem to actually sit and think about how hurtful they are being.

It's not that I am constantly full of anger at social injustice. There are too many days where I wish to go about my day without once turning around and having to correct someone (no matter how gentle I try to be about it, nobody takes me seriously). But then again, I can't seem to go for long without someone either harassing me, or making a stupid remark around me.

Stupid responses I get on a daily (and sadly, near hourly) basis:

1. Why don't you chill?
   Why don't you not make jokes at the expense of other people who have valid feelings?
2. Not all men are like that.
   Feminists don't think all men are rapists. But all male rapists do.
3. Men get raped too.
   Firstly, good job on using the suffering of male rape victims as a derailment to a genuine concern. Secondly, the raping of men is indeed a real problem thankyouverymuch for bringing it up (though I suspect you're of the "men can't be raped because they should be happy they're getting some" variety). Thirdly, adding the word "too" lowers both problems to mere comparisons.
4. Fat people should exercise at least for their health.
   Fat people can do whatever the hell they want and it's none of your business or mine.
5. Usage of slurs: f*ggot, tr*nny, n*gga.
   You have no right to reclaim those slurs unless you are homosexual, transexual or black (yeah, the link specifies white people but it makes clear that you should NOT do it unless you are black). Note: there are other slurs. I just can't think of them right now as it's bloody 2 AM.
6. She's too young to be wearing that.
   She's also too young to have you sexualising her, yes?

Another thing I get seriously mad about is the whole "I'm a special snowflake because I'm totally not like other girls". What's wrong with other girls? So they like to wear makeup. I think they're pretty and they feel good about themselves. So what? Or maybe they don't like to wear makeup and they don't shave or whatever. Again, so what? How exactly does this affect you?

I had a really rough time growing up as a female teen because I was always told "don't be like other girls". I was brought up to be rough and tough by my dad (for good reasons) but (and I'm still quite embarrassed about this) I saw myself as superior to other girls for a good part of my life just because I wasn't like the "majority" of them (fortunately, I grew up). Until two years ago, I avoided dresses like the plague because I had been told by everyone from the way they spoke of femininity that it was something bad.

Now I totally call out that shit.

I admit that I am privileged. I am of Eurasian descent. I have a typically white surname. I am fair skinned, thin and I speak English fluently as it is my mother tongue. I am cisgender.

I am privileged and it is my duty to dismantle the privilege society gives to me at the expense of others.

Natural Vitality Natural Calm

I've been having problems with anxiety and insomnia for years. While doing research recently, I found that it could be caused to a slight magnesium deficiency. Apparently the best way to deal with it was to take a supplement. I was recommended Natural Vitality Natural Calm.

And it worked for me.

I went for overkill and bought two huge bottles immediately.

The day it came in, I was terribly excited to try it out. My partner in crime, Jeen, and I took half a teaspoon in a glass of water each the night itself and two hours later, excitedly started messaging each other about how exhausted and relaxed we were suddenly feeling.

So... yeah, it works. Really well.

My mother just took half a teaspoon as well and she's walking around with the most dopey look on her face ever. She says she feels groggy and that if she were to lay down she'd pass out immediately.

I'll blog about this again after a month or so and report on my anxiety levels. It's only day three but it's going very well so far!

You can get it over here for USD 25.

So I tried to put makeup on.

You guys know about how I don't use makeup?

So I put on a dash of eyeliner and mascara yesterday for the first time since my emo-goth-punk teengirl phase.

I look massively confused as to how I ended up looking this way.

Well.

Not too bad for the first try in forever.

I used a spoon, though. No, seriously. Everything is better with a spoon.

There's nothing wrong with using makeup. For me, it's really a once in a while thing. I'm not into makeup and for some reason I am deeply disturbed by anything past eyeliner and mascara and maybe some lipstick on my face. I can't put blusher on because my cheeks are naturally red to the point where people think I overapplied blusher, anyway.

But if you're happy with it and you think it makes you feel good, then go enough and put on what you like. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. And if anyone tells you to go "natural" when you don't want to, pee on everything he loves.

My facial cleansing routine.

Basically, nothing.

I'm not kidding. It's been this way for years. I have the occasional stray pimple during my period (that can't seem to be dodged) but beyond that, nothing much.

I simply wash my face with water as I deem fit and maybe once or twice a week I give my face a rub a dub dub with some soap (right now, I'm totally in love with Claire Organics' Guinness soap) when I think I need it - mostly when the oil build up feels bad, but trust me, you'll know when you need to wash it off.

Interestingly, I did find claims over the Internet that some people found a lot of their acne problems went away after they stopped using commercial facial cleansers the same way people find that their hair condition improves without shampoo. Beyond that, Riley said the same of his usually acne prone skin to me just last week.

This is my complexion sans make up and facial cleansers and my hair almost three weeks into "no poo".

Much like the whole no poo thing, I'm pretty sure there'll be a transition period if you ditch your facial cleansers but perhaps that could be something that may work for your skin? I've heard of all sorts of variants, from simply cutting down on the facial routine to drastically trashing everything.

I don't know, though. I'm just this random person on the internet. :D

I've officially gone "no poo".

It's been two weeks since my last use of shampoo. Seriously.

Surprisingly, my hair:

1. does not stink
2. has practically zero dandruff (I used to shampoo my hair like daily to avoid dandruff and now I don't shampoo at all and I'm no longer plagued by it - LIFE)
3. looks pretty healthy despite the greasy feeling and nobody can actually tell how greasy it is if I rinse it under warm water now and then

What I've been doing is every week I pour a little bit of baking soda into some water (about half a tablespoon or less to a large cup - don't overdo this as baking soda is way alkaline) and then I rub that into my scalp. I let it sit in for around a minute and I rinse it off. Then I mix some apple cider vinegar with water (a tablespoon to a cup as well) and pour it all over my hair, mostly focussing on the ends and I let that sit for another minute. I make sure I rinse everything off very well so I don't smell like an English fish and chip stall though Jeen Yap assures me the smell goes off as the hair dries.

And here is a picture if you don't mind my unmade up face!

Five days since my last "wash" and two weeks since my last shampoo. Yaaay.

My hair has always been perfectly healthy and normal so I'm just sticking it through the transition period. I think I'm lucky because oil production on my scalp has been slowing down from what I've noticed this week in comparison to last week. Jeen's hair has displayed remarkable difference, though. It used to be pretty dry and damaged and it seems almost normal now! Her transition is kinda minimal too. Pfft. That girl. So lucky.

It's only been two weeks so far, which is halfway till my hair suddenly becomes awesome and commercial worthy so. Okay. I'll let you guys know how bitchtastic my hair flipping gets in two more weeks.

Oh god. I was kidding.

Anyway, some suggest a honey shampoo for those that think that the baking soda + apple cider vinegar thing may be a bit strong. That's supposed to help with dry hair and dandruff so give it a go. If you're intending to stick with the baking soda and wish to avoid extra strong dandruff, I hear putting in a bit of tea tree oil in the baking soda mixture helps. 

(Ask me sometime about how I don't wash my face with facial cleanser and how I believe that my complexion is pretty fab because of that, though)