That time of the month

"Maybe he's on his period..."

The guys smirk and nudge each other while more assertive women explode in anger on the inside and shyer ladies not up to confrontation pretend to laugh.

Lets debunk some period myths.

1. Women get irrationally angry on their periods.Not really, it's more like our threshold for  bullshit is much lower than it usually is so whatever you do to annoy us which is usually brushed off will not be ignored.
   Our thought processes are more like "okay, he's said that one too many times and I swear to God, I can't deal with it right now".

Yep, that's it. That one annoying myth.

So when your dude friend is being a piece of shit, we don't want you using women as an insult. Like, we don't even want regular guys on our camp let alone the guys you don't want.

And if your friend is being rightfully angry at you guys and you make fun of his valid anger, then you're the piece of shit and that's probably why: a) women don't like you, b) you're single, c) you only hang out with dudebros, or d) women only fake laugh at your jokes (yeah, you're not that funny).

So yeah, stop with that.

And another thing - go learn up about periods. Even if you don't get them, you shouldn't be going all your life not knowing what actually goes on during menstruation. Lack of knowledge and ignorance isn't all that appealing and it gets tiring repeating shit every month.

Go educate yourselves. 

Birthday wishlist:

Yeah, my birthday's coming up in a few months (coughcough three cough) and I highly doubt anybody's ever going to read this but... HERE'S WHAT I WANT.

• A selection of sexy and fancy inksI'm kinda leaning towards inks like Diamine, Noodler's and (hearteyes) Iroshizuku.
• An upper mid-range fountain penPerhaps something like the Lamy 2000 or the Sailor 1911 Profit or even the Pilot Vanishing Point. I really want something with a gold nib.
• A bunch of new tarot decksThe ones still on my wishlist are the Mathematical Tarot, the tarot decks coming up from Malpertuis, the Ancient Egyptian Tarot, the Alice in Wonderland deck from Baba...
• Sponsor me for a classLanguage, dance, cooking, whatever. I'm not fussy. I like learning things.
• ClothesProbably from here.
• Shoes
  Any kind will do though I prefer wedges, platforms, sneakers/trainers.
• Pamper meeeeSpa vouchers, mani-pedi vouchers...
• Food
  I'm really not fussy with food but it has to be someplace that has mindblowing dessert.

Old school writing.

If you follow me on Instagram, you may have seen a post on my new Lamy Al-Star fountain pen. It's a deep, sultry metallic maroon-purple and it seems to glide over paper in cursive flicks and halting prints.

Ink and steel

You may be aware that the blog URL is inkandsteel. Why? Is it a mere reference to my love for piercings and tattoos?

Or is it a pun, considering that I am also an artist?

It's me, of course it's a goddamn pun.

I've always had a fascination for art materials and writing stationery. I have piles of pens and pencils at home and given the chance (and more importantly money) I would definitely have a pricey mechanical pencil to fondle.

Having had a wonky detached and abstract interest in fountain pens instilled by my father (who taught me all about fountain pens and Lamy as an inexpensive but reliable brand), I was finally persuaded by Samuel (shameless shout out to Samuel yay) to invest in one.

And so I did.

It's officially sold as a black purple and yeah, it's as classy as it sounds.

Solidity and elegance

I've this and the Neon Lime Lamy Safari and I find them both to be good workhorses. The Extra Fine nib I use on the Al-Star is a wee bit scratchy, but that is a fault with the nib that would be easily adjusted by an experienced pen master. The Medium moves with broad sweeping strokes and trailing smoothness when paired with heavily lubricating ink and good paper.

I currently own the Lamy Black and Lamy Turquoise, both reliable colours that I find works well on my cheap college test pad and foolscap sheets. Minimum, if any, bleedthrough - which is obviously the most important factor of any ink purchase for me as I can hardly afford to take my notes on anything more expensive than what can be found for RM 5 for 100 sheets.

Lamy inks are not particularly waterproof, however, and I'd advise you to be careful with drinking close to your paper. The black fares alright when splashed, but the turquoise fades quickly in a little puddle.

I've been eyeing the Lamy Blue/Black ever since I used it with a tester pen at the Lamy concept store in Bangsar Village II (it's right across Borders - you can't miss it!). It looks like the kind of ink that blows you a kiss and winks before gliding away in a tight fitted dress with slits slashed up both thighs. I think I'm in love.

Wet flow

Maybe I'll expand my ink "collection" (ha, if you can even call it that) once I've made a visit down to Singapore this weekend. There's a place there on Orchard that sells Noodler's inks and I'd love to check it out.

If anyone has any suggestions and recommendations, I'd gladly hear them.

Tattoo aftercare guide.

The thing about tattoo care is that it begins even before you get your tattoo. If you really want to ensure that your tattoo remains as vibrant as it was when it first healed, you'll have to start looking after your skin from weeks before you get inked.

Before

So the first thing to do is to set up a consultation.

Do massive amounts of research before picking your artist. Check out reviews, their portfolio and their Instagram account. Be sure you're ready to spend some cash - please don't insult an artist and their work by bargaining with them. Be sure your artist's style is compatible with what you have in mind.

Once you've picked an artist you like, you meet them for a consultation (set this up in advance via email or phone) and talk about what you want to do. Make sure to be very clear and precise about what you want. Bring samples. Ask if you can bring a friend and if they have limits on groups (very important). When you're given a time, don't be late. Respect your artist's time. Enter your actual tattoo appointment into your planner with an alarm for the day before.

I usually have a little routine that begins about a week before my actual tattoo appointment. It consists of:

1. Drinking enough water so my skin remains hydrated.
2. Moisturising my skin constantly.
3. Applying sunblock so my skin doesn't burn.
4. Exfoliating the day before the appointment.

It's really basic skincare but do put in more effort than usual.

Plan for your first week of healing, keeping in mind the placement of your tattoo. Hip tattoo? Check if you have underwear that won't irritate the tattoo. If not, buy some. Thigh tattoo? Take a quick peek into your closet and check if you have at least a week's worth of loose pants or skirts/dresses. You get the idea.

Don't forget to buy the products you'll require for your aftercare!

• gentle and mild cleansing soap
• a non-scented moisturising lotion (Rosken Skin Repair for Sensitive Skin is good)
• something to wrap your tattoo in for emergency situations (like if you have a foot tattoo and you'll need to wear a sock or something)
• paper towels to dry your tattoo
• sunblock

Your tattoo will bleed ink for the first few nights so do sleep with black bedsheets and blankets (unless you don't mind the mess).

During

There's not much here to say because all you have to do is keep still, but here are some pointers:

1. Have a good meal before your session and pack a snack for the break if your tattoo is a large piece.
2. Don't hold your breath! That's tiring and it'll cause you to tense up unnecessarily. Find a good rhythm to your breathing and keep it going.
3. Bring a book or something to listen to. Some tattoo artists like to chat and others don't, and that's fine. If you need something to keep distracted, then bring something along.
4. Don't eat during the session. If you need a break, let your artist know, and ask if you can grab a quick bite somewhere not in the actual studio (studios are supposed to be kept clean so you won't be allowed to eat in them). Most times, in bigger studios, they'll have a separate pantry.
5. If you're in any pain or discomfort that you can't bear, please for the love of god, just let your artist know. It's not a matter of pride, but one of sensibility.
6. Keep a bottle of water on hand for when you're parched. 
7. If you feel like you need a comfort object (like a stuffed toy), just let your artist know and don't forget to bring it.
8. Seriously, use the loo before you start.
9. It'd be a good idea to tie and clip your hair up too. Sometimes you may get hot and sweaty with the light shining down brightly on your skin and keeping your hair up would help.
10. When you get a break, hop off the chair and move about. You may feel a little shaky and that's fine.

After

Congrats, you've got a great looking tattoo! Keep that bandage on till you get home (yeah, please don't open it up for any reason) and once you're home, be sure to gently later soap on your hands and then run your soaped up hands over your tattoo to clean it off ink and blood and ointment. Your newly tattooed skin will sting as it's an open would, so try not to go with hot water.

If the bandage is stuck to your skin, use your hands to pour warm water over it until it unsticks, and then peel it off gently.

Dry it with paper towels. Do not use your regular towel. The fibres of the towel may get stuck on your ink or rub it off. Not good. Likewise, don't use toilet roll paper. Those get stuck on wet tattoos easily and getting them out isn't worth the effort. PAPER TOWELS.

Apply a very thin layer of lotion all over your skin. You should be able to see a light sheen over the tattoo and not the actual lotion. Be sure to moisturise, but not to over- or under-moisturise. When your tattoo is under-moisturised the skin and feel tight and cracked and that's super uncomfortable. When it's over-moisturised, your skin peels off way too easily and that can affect the tattoo's lines. Either way, the skin scabs something terrible if you under- or over-moisturise so don't do that.

It's highly recommended to wash and moisturise about 2-3 times a day and not more.

Don't submerge your new ink in water so please avoid swimming and long baths. Showers are good for your tattoo, but keep them short and try not to use scalding hot water.

Your tattoo will enter the itchy stage as it heals. Don't scratch or pick at it, instead use light and gentle slaps if you really can't stand the itch.

Remember to dress according to the placement of your tattoo. Your clothes should not be restrictive and they should not rub against your tattoo as this will cause irritation and prolong the healing process. As mentioned above, plan your clothing in advance.

If you think your tattoo will, at any time, be exposed to sunlight, place sunblock on it. This is important because the UV rays in sunlight can break down the ink in your tattoo and cause it to look splotchy.

Try not to use A+D ointment as it contains petrolatum. Don't use anything with petrolatum in it, like petroleum jelly, as petrolatum causes ink to be drawn out from your skin and your tattoo may heal weird with ink missing or faded in some places.

Conclusion

Be smart. Plan ahead. Getting a tattoo done is an amazing experience, but be sure your tattoo is worth the money you paid by looking after it.

"I don't think I'm very pretty." - waiting for puberty

(contains references to emotional abuse)

“I don’t think I’m very pretty,” I said to my reflection. I was 8 years old, and my eyes were too slanted, my skin burnt, my limbs long and gangly. Maybe when I’m older. Maybe puberty will do magical things. One can hope.

“I don’t think I’m very pretty,” I said to my reflection. I was 13 years old, and I was going through puberty. Hair had sprouted in embarrassing places, I had pimples everywhere, and the braces over my teeth caught in the insides of my cheeks. Maybe later I will be prettier but it can’t be helped now.

“I don’t think she’s very pretty,” I heard someone say about me at 15. Never mind that, I was accomplished in sports and a good student. Surely that made up for the lack of pretty. Or maybe it didn’t, when I got home and cried. After puberty, maybe my brown skin will turn a fair porcelain white, maybe my lanky legs will turn shapely, maybe the current me will look like the before picture of a glamorous and well put together stranger. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

“I don’t think you’re very pretty,” he said to me. Tears were spilling down my chin and onto my bare legs. The illusion was shattered. I was 18 and in love, but I’d never felt uglier. Puberty is finished by 21 I heard, and hope renewed.

“I don’t think you’re very pretty,” someone casually remarked to me. 20, and putting on weight, I was no longer skinny. I went for a knee check up for sports injuries and the doctor told me to lose weight. “But what about my martial arts background?” I asked. “No, you need to lose weight,” came the official medical reply. I lost the weight. I lost the will.

“I don’t think I’m very pretty,” I said to my reflection. I was 22 years old, and my eyes were too slanted, my skin a garish yellow, my limbs of oscillating sizes. My beauty, or lack thereof, didn’t matter in the face of my compassion, laughter, and a newly discovered joie de vivre. I don’t think I’m very pretty, and I couldn’t care less.

How to get cheaper books with free shipping.

"Book Depository is awesome."

Once upon a time, there was a girl who could never find physical copies of the books she wanted. Frustrated, she would turn to the great giant Amazon but the charges she had to pay for the books to arrive on her doorstep were ludicrous. Broke and sad, she had to save up before buying books that she liked.

Then she discovered Book Depository.

Book Depository was everything Amazon was not: great customer service, books at prices cheaper than what you usually find, as well as free bloody shipping worldwide.

No, seriously. Check out the range of titles they have as well as their prices. I'm so impressed and relieved I could cry.

Click here to change your life.

From No Poo to Hardcore

Remember when I was talking about going No Poo and I did it?

Because now I'm ditching cleansers for my hair and just going full cavelady.

Water washing only, yeahyuh.

It sounds pretty gross, I agree. But I've also found that the body and volume of my hair increased to a cute fluff up, which I welcome so hard since I've always had fine hair. I've been waking up with sexy bedhead a few days now, rather than the limp helmet I mostly begin my days with.

I'll keep this space updated once I have more to report on! :D

Kindles in Malaysia.

I'm using Kindle Unlimited right now and ohmygod I'm never going to stop downloading books.

I've been going on a frenzy of reading and surfing the Amazon store on the Kindle (and I just got it today) and there are like 24 Marcus Katz books available on Kindle Unlimited. Totally worth the 12 month access, man.

I mean, come on, free access to more than 700, 000 books on Kindle. These are books for self-help/education/leisure/anything-you-want purposes.

If you're interested in getting a Kindle or an account with Kindle Unlimited access for 12 months, I highly recommend Kindle Malaysia. Their customer service is remarkable and their prices are reasonable and pretty affordable. I got my Kindle Unlimited from them and the whole process was very quick and efficient. :D

Life goes on.

Death is a concept I couldn't adequately grasp until a few years ago. I think it takes a good deal of emotional complexity and maturity to really understand what death and all that it touches entails.

Only now am I realising what I've lost - and what I've been losing all these years. Never again will I see my great-grandmother shuffle her playing cards, or watch my uncle concentrate on his meal, or be enfolded in my mother's best friend's embrace, or hear my godmother giggle at a joke.

Death is a thief, death is a murderer, death is the great healer, death is the ending of all pain.

Death comes 'round.

As you all know, my godmother passed away earlier this month.

The loss of her vivacity and her vivid laughter will always resound through my life. She was optimistic and generous, and the house seems too silent without her chattering voice.

I miss you, Godma. I know you're happier where you are, with no more suffering, and that you're finally reunited with Duchess.