“Everybody has a secret world inside of them. All of the people of the world, I mean everybody. No matter how dull and boring they are on the outside, inside them they've all got unimaginable, magnificent, wonderful, stupid, amazing worlds. Not just one world. Hundreds of them. Thousands maybe." - Neil Gaiman.

"What does your future look like?"

I hesitate before pasting on a shy smile. "I want to be a lawyer." Straight to the point.

"That sounds lovely..." The well-meaning voice chatters on to subjects of inconsequential matter. I drop the smile and fall back into my daydreams.

What does my future look like?

Law school, my chambering, being called to the Bar, practising, retirement. That is all I'm certain of.

Marriage, children, starting a family. These are all optional. (or maybe the option doesn't even figure in the picture- that's what I'm afraid of, that nobody thinks that I'm worth that kind of devotion, commitment)

I feel that there are two sides to every person- simplistically speaking, I would like to emphasise. On the one hand, we're all power-hungry beasts, gutless creatures. On the other, I honestly believe that most of us would be happy living on a beach somewhere with just enough money to survive.

(Why 'simplistically'? Because nobody is made up of only two sides. Nothing can be unsubdivided. Maybe that's why physicists are inevitably philosophers. An endless quest to reduce everything to it's most rudimentary form, a losing battle.

We are made up of thousands upon thousands of facets. We have motives behind our motives and reasons so minute they're incomprehensible. Our fleeting thoughts now can be the metaphorical pebbles that start off the avalanche years later subconsciously.)

Or something like that.

I digress.

What does my future look like?

In my head? Honestly, truthfully, sincerely? I see myself living in a tiny apartment, wearing nothing but sweaters and jeans. I am a barrister by day, a crime reporter at night (although my true dream would be to work as a war correspondent). I live near a small cafe that makes brilliant tea, an undiscovered gem. I subsist on a diet of scones and peppermint infusions, reading and dreaming through my life. (someone might even catch a glimpse of me, fall in love with me, make me live in this world- but that's another dream)

Or there's the other truth. The darker, flip side of the mirror. Making partner at a young age, winning case after case, arguing intelligently and faultlessly, my mind sharp as a shard of broken glass. Powerful, ruthless, cunning, ambitious. Being able to give myself everything I never knew I even wanted. Slaking my thirst for revenge (another dream for another day, one I refuse to elaborate on).

But the reality is that nothing is predestined.

"Plans can break down. You cannot plan the future. Only presumptuous fools plan. The wise man steers." Terry Pratchett