Self sexual objectification.

I have a deep-seated issue with my self esteem levels. There are days where I loathe myself completely, mutilating myself in my head. There are other days where I walk past mirrors, my face turned away to avoid the look of hatred I tend to flash at myself.

I am currently incapable of receiving compliments. I cannot believe them. Neither do I like them.

Realising this, I decided to embark on a month of self-discovery and perhaps, even self-actualisation. I stared at a 30 Day Challenge and tried to think of anything I liked about myself.

Day One: A facial feature you like on yourself.

I spent a few moments in contemplation. "My lips."

Day Two: A physical feature you like on yourself.

Without hesitation. "My breasts. Or my butt."

I spent a few more minutes with my train of thought on this particular track. After a while, it struck me that I was sexually objectifying myself.

I saw myself as worthy of only sexual feelings.

That is, to date, one of my greatest problems in overcoming my low self esteem.